Thursday 6 November 2014

"We are MARRIED and we're LOVIN it" - Bola and Henry Nelson *New Series*


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From: Kemi Filani


"We are MARRIED and we're LOVIN it" - Bola and Henry Nelson *New Series*
By now you should be used to the monthly 'Waiting and Loving' it series - all about couples that waited till their wedding night - how they overcame the challenges etc...some claim abstinence in a relationship is not only archaic but down-right Impossible, however, if you have followed the series, then you know that that thought is down-right IMpossible lol.. Yes, people are doing it; Waiting and Loving It!!

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A new series has been introduced 'Marrying and Loving it' :) and 1 + the one says it would feature couples who have been married for 10years and above - they will share with us a little of their journey thus far and useful tips (from personal experience) to sustaining a marriage, keeping the fire alive, managing conflict and more.
Kick starting the new series are Mr and Mrs Abimbola (Salt) and Henry Nelson, enjoy!! 

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Hello Mr and Mrs Nelson, It's a great pleasure and privilege having you as our first couple on the Married and Loving It 'Hot Seat'. Thank you very much for taking time out to respond to us. Could you please start by telling us how long you've been married?
The Nelsons: (Mrs) I still marvel at God's mercies and faithfulness when I think that my Mighty Good Man (MGM) and I have been married for twenty-one (21)years now. Come, 01 May 2015, we will hit 22 years! I promise, it is purely a God thing! 
Wow! Congratulations, that's wonderful. How did you meet your MGM?

The Nelsons: I met Henry in my second year of University. We both went to the University of Uyo. So while we have actually been married for 21 years, we have been together since 1985! That makes it 29 years! Even I am amazed! *smiling*,
I am smiling along with you ma'am. That's really special, thank God. 
Now I don't know if you can remember your wedding day, but we'd like to know moments you recollect from that day?

The Nelsons: The part I love most about that day, the 1st of May 1993 was that it did not rain! It was a serious prayer point for me because the reception was to be outdoors. It was a lovely sunny day and I just thank God for that. I loved how my MGM tried to out-dance me on the way in. Our first dance too was special to me because we danced to my favourite song at the time. It was Boys II Men's 'End of the Road' - I know, not the best in terms of song title considering we were just starting our lives together. But you know what? Now, as I look back, I see it as a prophetic song over our lives. In the past 21 years, we have faced some real 'end of the road' situations BUT God always always stepped in and just like the song says we never 'let go'. Our marriage is still standing strong and our love has grown deeper. 
Awww, thank God for that. That's beautiful. (Ladies and gents, pay attention to your wedding song, it just might be prophetic :-)). Now, we often hear that the first 3 years of marriage are not the easiest, is that true? How was it for you?

The Nelsons: The first 3 years? If I had to use one word, it would be 'Bewildered'. We spent the first 7 years actually trying to figure out 'who on earth we had married'. You would think that having known each other since University would make it easier. This was not the case. So there was a lot of 'discovering' to do and we did not do it very well, I am afraid. This is why I tell young couples to use the dating period well. It is not a time to pretend at all. Be yourself 100% so that whatever you are showing is the REAL you. If you cannot cook, don't pretend. If you are not a beach person, don't pretend to like the beach. If your idea of a night out is sitting at home reading a book, be open about that but show you are willing to do other stuff because you care about the interests of the one you love. 
Aww, thank you very much for that, *note to self* "Be real at all times, no forming". 

Thank you very much for that.

Now, we come to a part in Married and Loving It where we ask our guest-couple to list according to the number of years they have been married, Things Marriage has Taught Them.. Here goes..

21 THINGS MARRIAGE HAS TAUGHT US - Mr and Mrs Nelson
(Can we just say before you read that we are no marriage guru. We are just a couple sharing our own take on life based on our experiences in life to date. It is good to learn from your own mistakes but it is wise to learn from the mistakes of others *smiling*. It will be a blessing if just one person takes away something from here that will help their marriages now or in the future). - The Nelsons

1. In Marriage, Love is not a feeling. It is a choice. And sometimes you don't feel like making that choice BUT you do in obedience to the God you made your vows to.

2. When you are dating, you can get away with the idea that you love someone because 'they are fine/kind/gentle or they do XYZ' but the moment you decide to marry the person, your love must become UNCONDITIONAL. If you intend for your marriage to last, you must decide to love 'just because' for I can tell you for free that the day will come when your spouse will not look so fine or be so kind! Will your love just die then?

3. There is no such thing as a readymade soul mate. That title is earned. Over time. For instance, my MGM is my soul mate. I know that NOW because of all that we have gone through and today I can put my hand to my heart and say I never want to be with anyone else.

4. Trust is the bedrock of your marriage. DO NOT do anything that will break it.

5. Honestly, the only 3rd party you need in your marriage affairs is Jesus Christ. I respect all the elders and counsellors out there but at the end of the day, it will take you, your spouse and God to keep your home.

6. Be an OPEN BOOK to your spouse. Nothing is too little to share. There is nothing like the 'Power of Clean hands'. Even if you are woken up from sleep, you can answer any questions without thinking because your hands and heart are clean.

7. Communication is key. Study your spouse and find out what works. How best to enjoy your time together and get the gist flowing.

8. Remember that one size does not fit all so DO NOT compare your marriage to anyone else's. NEVER compare your spouse to anyone. It hurts and does not help.

9. Sex is SUPER important. I believe that where love rules, both parties will come to understand how to make this work for the relationship.

10. Be committed to making your spouse feel fulfilled and sometimes this means making up your mind to do what it takes to achieve that IN SPITE of how you feel. This means loving selflessly. Hard but doable with God's Spirit. NEVER let your spouse feel 'deprived'.

11. If you don't remember anything else we have said, remember this - Whenever you are upset with each other? THAT is the best time to be intimate! God created sex as the one sure way of sealing the bond between husband and wife. The devil knows this too and that is why the first thing a couple do when they are fighting is to stay away from each other. Don't do it. Frustrate the devil. Sex is praise, worship and a weapon of warfare!

12. Husband, never have a female 'friend' you are closer to than your wife. Wife, never have a male friend that is your confidante. It is a recipe for disaster. Period!

13. Do not do business with anyone you cannot introduce to your spouse. As much as you can control is, let all your business acquaintances be known to your spouse. If you are reluctant to introduce them, ask yourself why. Something is wrong.

14. After God, your spouse must be your number one priority. Wives, when you become mommies watch out for this. We don't even realise this happens but don't let baby take over your life. Daddy is still there and still needs you! *smiling*

15. You just have to learn to forgive. Forgetting will come with time but just let go of past hurts. Make up your mind to not let the past steal your future.

16. Dates nights are a MUST. Carve out a day even if it is just once a month for just the two of you to 'be'. No gadgets. No other people. Just chill.

17. Fight but fight 'clean'. Fights will come. They are inevitable but fighting clean means sticking to the issues at hand. Not dragging up the past. Fighting clean means no name calling or sarcasm.

18. Send love notes. So we are all on various gadgets now, right? So from time to time, send a nice message to your spouse to let him/her know you were thinking of them. It helps. Be playful…like you were when you were dating. Honour your spouse. Show you care. I love sincere PDAs (holding hands, opening the door for your wife, etc). You are telling the world "See my spouse! I am pleased to be with him/her!".

19. Please don't fight in front of the children. We never plan to but it happens. Please commit to not let it happen anymore. Our kids are so sensitive PLUS there are learning from us. Let's be good models.

20. Mutual Respect is so important. Never speak disrespectfully to each other. Never talk negatively about your spouse to anyone either. Just not good!
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21. I personally do not believe any marriage can last without God being at its centre. Pray together as well as alone. Make Him the Source of your love for each other. Always try to emulate Christ in how you love your spouse. If you do, yours will be a Marriage as God intended.
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CONTINUED FROM YESTERDAY


.... Success is not really about the amount of money you have.Strippers in Lagos state earn as much as 150,000 naira weekly exposing their naked bodies in clubs.Also, some politicians steal public funds,and leave their people to suffer.The list of ungodly means of making money are endless.Can we say people who make lots of money by ungodly means are successful?The likes of Bill Gates and Aliko Dangote can never be poor simply because they have a solution to some of human problems.Bill Gate helps solve the problem of information technology.Dangote helps solve the problem of getting some basic needs like salt,cement,flour,steel,oil and gas and real estate.I think success is fulfilling your destiny on earth,and achieving your vision.A lot of rich people today are not successful.What is your own definition of success??? .... TO BE CONTINUED TOMORROW...JOIN US TOMORROW FOR MORE ON THIS FUNNY AND EXCITING STORY }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} ..click here only if you are using your phone http://pin.bbm.com/C002329DA to join to our bbm channel, or just search bbmchannel prettypeoplenaija

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