"We WAITED till our wedding night and we're LOVIN it" stars..

From:	Kemi Filani <noreply@blogger.com>

By now you should be used to the monthly 'Waiting and Loving' it series - all about couples that waited till their wedding night - how they overcame the challenges etc...Some claim abstinence in a relationship is not only archaic but down-right Impossible, however, if you have followed the series, then you know that that thought is down-right IMpossible lol.. Yes, people are doing it; Waiting and Loving It!!

These couple are featured to inspire you to believe that by God's grace it is possible to wait to have sex after marriage. You and I have been called to be the light of the world (Matt 5:14), and that we must be and do by God's grace.
It's not too late to make a decision either.. Even if it hasn't been the case in the past, as couples have shared here previously, it's very possible to begin anew and let God give the grace!
Today,  Chidi and Victor were featured on the blog....they met during their NYSC....enjoy!

Hello Chidi and Victor! Thank you very much for agreeing to be featured here. Could you please tell us about yourselves?

Chidi: My name is Chidinma, fondly called Chidi. I am a Lawyer with special interests in Family and Child law. I love reading, engaging in exciting conversations, dancing (I could lock myself in a room and dance until I am sweating profusely)... I would save some for when we meet *Smiles*.

Victor: I'm Victor Akunna. I am a Relationship Catalyst (Relationship and Family Life Coach), training facilitator and conference speaker. I have spoken at various local and international platforms to youths, business professionals, singles and couples. My hobbies are reading and sharing information. I support Manchester United (Phew! So glad we finally have a new coach, lol). We have been married for 3 years.

Up Man U! *Hi5!* I knew there was something great about you. lol. Great to meet you Chidi and Victor, how did you both meet? 

Chidi: We met during National Youth Service (NYSC) in 2005. He was very active in fellowship – Brothers' coordinator, Chief Usher, and Assistant TOS man. We had always seen ourselves from a distance, but never got talking. One day, a friend asked me to help him pick up an application form for Diamond bank from a brother in my fellowship called Victor Akunna.

Victor: Lol, we met during the NYSC in Gombe state, Nigeria. I had always seen her, but the first time I spoke with her was when she approached me to get an application form for someone. Thinking back now, do you know that I almost did not go for my NYSC programme? Only God knows what would have happened. Today, I tease that she is the jewel I discovered in that Savannah, because the slogan for Gombe state is 'Jewel in the Savannah'.

His Jewel in the Savannah :-)

Awww.. Per'aps I need to go and chill in the Savannah too hehe. That's really lovely.. After the introduction, what was the attraction for you Victor? 

Victor: Besides the fact that she always has a smile on her face, the other things that struck me were her calmness, carriage, passion for learning, warmth and love for God. As a matter of fact, while we were just friends, I recall recommending her to some of my friends as a potential wife for them to consider, until God delivered me from both spiritual and romantic blindness (laughs).

Amen to that! Many people need that deliverance too lol.. And Chidi? Was there a defining moment when the attraction was sparked for you?

Chidi: It was Sisters' Day and I was looking very good. As usual, I got down to the place of worship early. The moment I saw him, I called out. He turned and couldn't believe it was me calling. His first remark was "So you know my name?" I asked for the form, we talked. As he turned to leave, he said "You look very good by the way". The next time we met, you'd think we had always known each other. What struck me on the second meeting was when he asked "What do you like about yourself?" Hmm... I thought for a minute and said "I like the fact that I am a happy girl". No one had ever asked me that question, but answering that question made me feel good about myself. He went on to say that it is always good for people to identify what they like about themselves. We soon became friends. 

Friends for Life!

Aww.. It's beautiful how you remember the conversation so well. That's great. How did the friendship/relationship progress to knowing that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with each other?

Victor: First, I observed that she had (and still has) the qualities I wanted in a wife, then after praying, I had inner peace. In addition to that, I could be my real self around her.

Chidi: I liked the fact that he is sold out to the things of God, but what I liked most about him was how he made everyone around him feel. He always left people feeling better than he met them. In the course of interacting with him, I loved the way he always challenged my intellect. Things evolved, and in a short time I began to address him as 'My big brother'. Some people actually thought we were related. We were so close that he would tell me about the ladies he liked. On the other hand, he knew that the last thing on my mind was the thought of getting into a relationship, but kept persuading me to make his joy complete as a big brother watching his sister get married.

LOL.. Really? There is hope then for people who have been confined to the 'Friend/Brother-zone'! That is really interesting.. I bet you have loads of stories for your children.

Chidi: Lol.. After passing out, as a Consultant, he submitted my name as his candidate for a job interview. The day I was called up for the interview, my mum was sitting next to me and suddenly asked "What would happen if you go for this interview and he proposes to you?" (My dad often says my mum "prophesies with her eyes open"). "No way! He is my big brother", I protested, not liking the idea. Years later, he proposed. Instantly, I said to him "Siblings don't get married", and I took off. For a while, we were not in communication. He gave me some time and returned. This time, he came prepared. I can still remember some of his lines – "I am not here to manipulate you, neither am I here to market myself..."

Having known him so well, I knew what consumed him; what he could die for. Interestingly, my life was already taking the same path. When he sold his vision to me, I could see myself in it. It is a vision I would want to spend my life doing; in that vision I find fulfilment. We are not there yet, but we have been able to bring it under the umbrella of Foundation for Family Affairs.

Wow, that's so wonderful! May God bring the vision to full completion in Jesus name.

What made you make the decision to wait?

Victor: Although for most of our courtship, we lived in separate countries, I remember we set up a policy ahead of time in order to guide us against building up the wrong emotions. This was to help us build on the right foundation. Thus, we made conscious effort to build the relationship by getting to know each others interests, histories, families, vision, plans, parenting perspectives, etc. We had many things to talk about.

Chidi: Our courtship was mostly long-distance. We had to put in deliberate effort to make it work. We had to communicate constantly. It involved a great deal of understanding from both of us. I guess what made it a lot easier is trust; we were open to each other.

Was it difficult? Did you get to any point when you wanted to just let go?

Chidi: When we started the relationship, he told me of the covenant he had taken with God, not to touch me until it was time. Personally, I believe that it is disrespectful for any man to ask me to be intimate with him before marriage. That would certainly put me off.

Hmmm, very true.What one advice would you give to your single self in preparation for marriage now that you've crossed that line. 

Victor: Get hold of God's specific promise as regards every aspect of the wedding and marriage because it will always deliver, always!

Chidi: There are some ladies who have been conditioned to expect woes in marriage. You cannot expect the worst from marriage and hope to have the best. There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off – Proverbs 23:18. Seek valid information on the subject of marriage; seek positive models; be prepared to make your marriage work; and expect a wonderful marital experience. Your marriage shall be exceptional!


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AMEN!! Thank you for that.. In 3 words or sentences can you decsribe the best part of being married?

Victor: Having someone in whose presence you can be yourself, whose love for you is not based on your performance, and who happens to be travelling in the same direction with you (shares your vision and values) is awesome.

Chidi: Marriage has been a learning experience; I am a lot better than I used to be in every wise. There is a richness that fills your life when you are married to the right person. Thank God I am married to my soul-mate. Life is more interesting with him in it. 

PDA time! Any words you'd like to say to each other?

Chidi: After my decision to accept Christ, you remain my best decision!

Victor: If I have to do it all over again, I will still marry you, only that this time, it would be earlier.

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And on that beautiful note, we conclude today's Waiting and Loving It!!! It's always a delight reading the stories of couples featured here and usually their stories reiterate some important things with regards to relationships and marriage. 

Not only are they one more couple to inspire me to wait, but one other thing in the midst of the many lessons we picked up was the importance of knowing the vision of the person you want to marry and ensuring that it aligns with what yours is. 

Take a moment to honestly ask these questions - Do you know what his/her life's plan/goal is? Have you identified what yours is? Do both of them align? Are you happy with his/her values, dreams and aspirations? Is he/she a dream supporter or a dream killer? May God give us the grace to make the right decision in Jesus name.

Everyone is indeed doing IT - Waiting and Loving It!!!.. It is possible, by God's grace! xx

You can read more on the WAITING AND LOVIN it series (HERE)